Transitioning Past a Past of Transitioning
Debra,I have always believed in you and believed you are strong enough to not be stealth. I tried not to say too much because it is your decision and you were quite clear you did not want anyone to know. But I have always believed that you are strong enough to stand in the truth in the light of day. You are a beautiful, vibrant, young woman, charming and charismatic. that is who you are and who I've known you to be from before to now. You have always been a woman. Always!It is kind of like the other side of the coin from what you tell me so very often when I out myself. I don't *have* to be out and I dont have to be stealth even though I am capable of it. *You* do not have to be stealth, you don't have to keep that secret anymore, and you do not have to be out. If there are people who know, fine. If there are people who do not know, also fine.Live your life in joy and triumph, girl! Be afraid of nothing!
Shannon's response is the "right" answer, but reality sometimes gets in the way of that, unfortunately.I think trans stuff and transsexual people are so normalized and "meh" to us that we sometimes forget how *not* normal it is to most people, and by most, I'm talking 99% of people. We say things like, "you've always been a woman!!" and while we all nod our collective heads and know that's the truth, that's not what most people think and that's not what they'll ever think. I know in a couple instances when I told people, I was caught off guard by their reaction... because it's so normal for me.I still struggle at not outing myself to people. I don't need to do this, but it's an insecurity thing. Just about everyone in my life knows. I'd love to know what it's like to have people that don't know. Anyway, clearly I do not yet have the perspective to know how I'll want to live in 5, 10 years' time.All I'd suggest for you is to not do anything or expose yourself in such a way that you cannot put the genie back in the bottle, should you wish it were at some point in the future. That's not necessarily the same thing as being "stealth."
It seems to me that the person who you are today should be much more than who you were in the past.The many pains of transition (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) are tough enough to endure and to overcome.The past, the present, and the future offers adversity and obstacles for everyone to overcome.Good luck to you in the great challenge every day called life.
Thank you everyone for your comments. Yes there is the 'right' answer and also the 'putting it into play' for sure. The reality is I'm happy as things are now and I really don't want to compromise that at all. I guess the point I was trying to make was that if somehow my 'stealth' was compromised (esp in modeling circles) maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I would think it would be. It wouldn't be the end of life as I know it persay but it still definitely would be a change. But I'd prefer not to see that change ever happen, frankly.